I had decided by summer of 2012 that 2013 would be a year that I make changes to my life and outlook. I started making some changes then, so they would already be in progress when the new year started.
Some things are as simple, yet not, as replacing bad habits with good ones. I’ve decided to take a different approach, though. Instead of stopping the bad habits “cold turkey” and diving into the good habits head first, I’m slowly reducing the bad and increasing the good. They say it takes 6 weeks or more to change your practices, or to make something a habit. With that in mind, I’m targeting my bad habits of eating too much junk food or fast food. I need to replace that with healthier food, and in addition, add in small workout routines, to attain my larger goal of losing weight and getting healthier. I’m also trying to get my daughter to go along with me, which makes it achievement somewhat slower.
I also returned to the technical collage that I started going to in 2009 or 2010. I am determined to finish my degree in web design, even if it’s slow going, because I am taking 2 classes at a time, instead of a full load, as I would like to do. Unfortunately, in my real life as a single parent and sole provider for my teenaged daughter, I am unable to quit working full-time to devote myself to going to school full-time. I also can’t afford to go to part-time, because the hours would be unreliable. I have to have a steady and consistent source of income.
I’m finding it difficult to juggle everything in my life. I’ve never been very good at time management or multitasking. I work 50+ hours a week, not including my classwork, homework, housework, yard work, and my parenting duties. I’m feel like I am being buried under a pile of stones.
I am also finding that while I could conceivably do my classwork and homework during slow times at work, that I am unable to do so. The possibility and reality of customers coming in and out of the store, the telephone ringing, the emails that arrive and must be answered, all serve to effectively shatter my concentration and attention. So often, I return to what I was doing, and my thoughts are scattered like leaves that have fallen from a tree, and raking them up to start over again becomes as big of a task as what I was doing already, and it’s rather discouraging.
Maybe I need to talk to my boss about reducing hours, finding someone to work part-time, so I can attend at least some of my classes on-campus. It seems that I also need that physical transition to go along with my mental transition. By getting in the car and going to school or work, that time spent transporting myself also serves to help me to mentally switch gears and get into the correct mindset for what I am going to do. And, it appears, mixing school and work, or home and work, is not working out for me.
I will persevere, and hope that I find a way for my brain to accept its new programming.